Narcissistic Triangulation 2.0: Social Sabotage
Advanced Triangulation
Chapter Twelve: The Indirect Assault
After Victor’s attempts at emotional blackmail failed to bring Emily back under his control, he resorted to an even more cunning tactic—advanced triangulation. Narcissists like Victor often use triangulation to manipulate their victims by involving a third party, creating a complex web of deception, jealousy, and confusion. This time, Victor wasn’t just trying to control Emily directly; he was using others to do his bidding, making the situation even more challenging for Emily to navigate.
Understanding Advanced Triangulation: Manipulation Through Third Parties
Triangulation occurs when a narcissist uses a third party to create tension, jealousy, or rivalry. This third party can be a mutual friend, family member, new romantic interest, or even an ex-partner. The goal is to make the victim feel insecure, isolated, and dependent on the narcissist for validation and stability.
Victor’s use of advanced triangulation was subtle yet effective. He began by reaching out to mutual friends, spinning a narrative that painted Emily as the unreasonable one, while positioning himself as the misunderstood victim. He even hinted at a new romantic interest, hoping to provoke jealousy and uncertainty in Emily. By using these third parties, Victor aimed to destabilize Emily’s emotions and draw her back into his web.
Key Signs of Advanced Triangulation
Involving Mutual Friends: Victor started contacting mutual friends, sharing selective details of his version of events. He portrayed Emily as someone who was overreacting or being unfair, subtly encouraging these friends to pressure Emily to “reconsider” her decision.
What to do: Be cautious of mutual friends who suddenly begin pushing you to reconcile or questioning your decisions. Understand that they may be unknowingly acting as pawns in the narcissist’s game. Maintain your boundaries and focus on relationships with those who truly support you.
Hinting at a New Relationship: Victor began posting photos on social media with a new woman, someone who appeared to be a potential romantic interest. The implication was clear—he had moved on, and Emily was the one who had lost out. This was meant to provoke jealousy and make Emily question her decision to leave.
What to do: Recognize that these displays are often more about appearance than reality. Narcissists use new relationships or the appearance of them to provoke jealousy and maintain control. Stay focused on your own healing and remember that your worth is not determined by the narcissist’s actions.
Creating Confusion and Doubt: Victor would relay messages to Emily through mutual friends, suggesting that she had misunderstood him or that there were things she didn’t know about their breakup. These messages were designed to create doubt and confusion, making Emily question her perspective.
What to do: Trust your own experiences and perceptions. Narcissists thrive on creating confusion to destabilize their victims. Stay grounded in your truth and resist the urge to engage in the back-and-forth drama.
Using Family Members: Victor even reached out to some of Emily’s family members, trying to win their sympathy and support. He hoped that by creating a rift between Emily and her family, he could isolate her further and regain influence over her life.
What to do: Keep your family informed about the dynamics at play. Let them know how narcissists use triangulation and encourage them to support you in setting boundaries. It’s important that your family remains a source of strength rather than a tool for manipulation.
Emily’s Struggle with Advanced Triangulation
Victor’s triangulation tactics left Emily feeling isolated and confused. Friends she had once trusted began questioning her decisions, and the constant rumors and suggestions that she had misunderstood the situation made her doubt herself. Seeing Victor with someone new stung, and the pressure from mutual friends and family made her question if she was truly in the right.
But Emily had learned from her previous experiences with Victor’s manipulations. She knew that these tactics were designed to control her emotions and draw her back into the toxic cycle she had worked so hard to escape.
Navigating the Triangulation Trap
Here’s how Emily managed to stay strong in the face of advanced triangulation:
Reinforcing Boundaries with Friends and Family: Emily had honest conversations with her close friends and family, explaining the situation and asking for their support. She made it clear that she needed space and that their pressure to reconcile was not helpful. By setting these boundaries, she was able to maintain her relationships without falling into Victor’s trap.
Staying Off Social Media: To avoid being triggered by Victor’s posts, Emily decided to take a break from social media. This helped her focus on her own life and healing without being constantly reminded of Victor’s attempts to provoke her.
Seeking Support from a Therapist: Emily continued her therapy sessions, where she discussed the impact of Victor’s triangulation tactics. Her therapist helped her develop strategies to cope with the emotional fallout and reinforced the importance of trusting her own judgment.
Focusing on Self-Growth: Instead of getting caught up in the drama, Emily channeled her energy into personal growth. She pursued new hobbies, connected with supportive friends, and focused on building a life that reflected her true self—free from Victor’s influence.
Looking Ahead: The Next Challenge
Victor’s use of advanced triangulation was a test of Emily’s resilience, but she was determined to continue moving forward. She knew that breaking free from a narcissist was a journey filled with challenges, but each step she took brought her closer to the life she deserved.
Next Up: The Silent Treatment Revisited—When No Contact Is the Only Option
In the next chapter, we’ll explore the power of no contact and why it’s often the only way to fully break free from a narcissist. Emily’s journey continues as she takes decisive steps to protect her peace and reclaim her life.
Stay tuned as we delve deeper into the strategies narcissists use to maintain their grip and how to protect yourself from the emotional and social fallout of their manipulative tactics.
