The Silent Treatment Revisited: When No Contact Is the Only Option
No Contact
Chapter Thirteen: Choosing Silence
After enduring Victor’s relentless attempts to manipulate her through smear campaigns and advanced triangulation, Emily knew she had reached a pivotal moment in her journey. The only way to truly break free from his toxic influence was to implement the no contact rule. While it was a difficult decision, it was also the most empowering one she could make to protect her peace and continue her healing process.
Understanding No Contact: The Ultimate Boundary
No contact is a strategy often recommended for those escaping narcissistic abuse. It involves completely cutting off all forms of communication with the narcissist—no texts, calls, emails, or social media interactions. The purpose is to give the victim the space they need to heal without being drawn back into the narcissist’s manipulative games.
For Emily, no contact wasn’t just about avoiding Victor’s direct attempts to reach her. It was about reclaiming her life and ensuring that she could move forward without the constant fear of being pulled back into the toxic cycle.
Why No Contact is Necessary
Breaking the Cycle: Narcissists like Victor thrive on maintaining control, and any form of communication—even negative—feeds their need for attention. By going no contact, Emily could break the cycle of manipulation and create a clear boundary that Victor could no longer cross.
What to do: Commit to no contact as a way to regain control over your life. Understand that even a single response can reignite the narcissist’s efforts to manipulate you.
Allowing Space for Healing: No contact provides the emotional and psychological space needed to process the trauma of a narcissistic relationship. It allows the victim to begin rebuilding their sense of self, free from the constant barrage of gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and manipulation.
What to do: Use the time and space created by no contact to focus on your own healing. Engage in activities that bring you joy, seek therapy, and reconnect with supportive friends and family.
Preventing Future Manipulation: As long as there’s an open line of communication, the narcissist will continue to try to manipulate the situation to their advantage. No contact shuts down their ability to control or influence you, making it clear that their tactics will no longer work.
What to do: Block the narcissist on all platforms—social media, phone, email. Consider changing your phone number or even seeking a protective order if necessary.
Reclaiming Your Power: Going no contact is an act of reclaiming your power. It’s a statement that you will no longer allow the narcissist to dictate your emotions or control your life. It’s about taking back the narrative and choosing your own path forward.
What to do: Empower yourself by setting and maintaining strong boundaries. Remember, no contact is about your well-being, not about punishing the narcissist.
Emily’s Struggle with No Contact
For Emily, going no contact was both liberating and terrifying. On one hand, she felt a sense of relief knowing that she could finally have peace and focus on her own healing. On the other hand, she feared the unknown—what would Victor do next? Would he respect her boundaries, or would he find new ways to try and control her?
The first few days of no contact were the hardest. Victor bombarded her with messages, trying to provoke a response. When Emily didn’t reply, he escalated, calling from different numbers, leaving voicemails full of apologies, then anger, then desperation. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that tested Emily’s resolve.
But Emily stayed strong. She knew that breaking no contact, even once, would give Victor the opening he needed to draw her back in. She reminded herself of the progress she had made, of the life she was building without him. Each day that passed without contact was a victory, a step closer to the freedom she deserved.
Staying Committed to No Contact
Here’s how Emily maintained her commitment to no contact:
Blocking All Communication Channels: Emily blocked Victor on all platforms—social media, phone, and email. She also let her close friends and family know about her decision, asking them not to relay any messages from him.
Setting Up Support Systems: Emily knew she couldn’t do this alone, so she leaned heavily on her support system. She reached out to friends when she felt tempted to break no contact and continued her therapy sessions to stay grounded.
Redirecting Her Focus: Emily channeled the energy she once spent on the relationship into positive activities. She started a new hobby, joined a local group, and spent more time with people who uplifted her. This helped her create a new identity, one that wasn’t tied to Victor.
Writing It Out: Whenever Emily felt overwhelmed by the urge to respond, she wrote down her feelings in a journal instead. This allowed her to process her emotions without giving Victor the satisfaction of a reply.
Looking Ahead: The Final Push
The no contact rule gave Emily the space she needed to begin truly healing. But she knew that the journey wasn’t over yet. Narcissists often find ways to continue their manipulative behavior even after contact has been severed. Emily was preparing herself for the final push—the possibility of post-breakup sabotage.
Next Up: Post-Breakup Sabotage—When Narcissists Won’t Let Go
In the next chapter, we’ll explore how narcissists attempt to sabotage their victims’ lives even after the relationship has ended. Emily’s journey continues as she faces one of the last hurdles in her path to freedom.
Stay tuned as we delve deeper into the strategies narcissists use to maintain their grip and how to protect yourself from the emotional and social fallout of their manipulative tactics
